Please note that this is an Archived article and may contain content that is out of date. The use of she/her/hers pronouns in some articles is not intended to be exclusionary. Eating disorders can affect people of all genders, ages, races, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body shapes, and weights.

When people ask me what I do for work, I automatically say, “I’m a writer, speaker, and consultant.” They want to know what job I get paid to do, right? If someone were to look at my calendar, though, most of my time is spent as a parent. But I never answer the work question with, “I’m an unpaid Mom.” Roughly 63 million parents in the US are living with children under the age of 18, while millions more are non-parent caregivers who are responsible for children.

The US Surgeon General issued an urgent advisory earlier this year to draw immediate attention to the growing crisis of parents under stress. This is not just a statement but a call to action for all of us. You may wonder what a Surgeon General Advisory is. It’s simply a public statement they make to raise awareness to the American people about an urgent public health issue.

Nearly 50 percent of parents (2023) stated that their stress is overwhelming most days (compared to 26 percent of non-parents). These alarming numbers, coupled with the fact that chronic stress can lead to mental health conditions, have become a national concern. This has resulted in increased healthcare costs and reduced economic productivity, impacting us as an entire nation.

Reasons for the increase:

  • Pandemic
    • Caregivers were thrust into the role of assisting with education and being with their children 24/7 despite having to continue with their professional careers. Regular resources that parents and kids depended on (mental health, social support networks, etc.) shut down and became inaccessible.
  • Financial instability
    • One in four parents state they did not have money in the past year to cover basic expenses (food, rent, etc.).
  • Increasing costs of childcare
    • In the past 10 years, childcare costs have increased 26 percent, while wages have not increased at a similar rate.
  • Difficulty managing technology and social media
    • Nearly 70 percent say parenting is more difficult now than 20 years ago, with these two being the top reasons cited.
  • Parental isolation and loneliness
    • 65 percent of parents and 77 percent of single parents report loneliness, compared to 55 percent of non-parents.
    • Parental isolation occurred to us all in 2020 when our world had to shut down to prevent more lives from being lost. Parent groups could no longer meet, playgrounds were shut down, and community education activities were moved online.
  • Time demands
    • Women have seen a 28 percent increase in weekly hours worked since the ’80s.
    • Time spent on primary child care has increased by 40 percent.
    • With the increased needs, parents have struggled with healthy amounts of sleep, quality time with their partners, and their overall mental and physical health.
  • Concerns over children’s health and safety
    • Firearm-related injury has become the leading cause of death among US children and adolescents.
    • School shootings, or the possibility of one, are a significant source of stress for nearly three-quarters of parents. The United States leads globally in school shootings, far surpassing other countries.
  • Parents caring for aging parents or other family members face additional strain
    • In many instances, they are responsible for primary caretaking, providing transportation, and assisting with health needs, amongst other responsibilities for aging parents, while also dealing with the demands of caring for children.
    • In 2021, nearly a quarter of US adults (23%) had a living parent age 65 or older and either a child under age 18 or an adult child for whom they provide financial support.

Surgeon General Recommendations:

1. There needs to be a cultural shift in how we value and respect parenting time, similar to time spent on paid work.

  • This shift needs to happen faster and more decisively. We must recognize the importance of raising children in society and do it now. Parents may have primary responsibilities, but they cannot do it alone.

“Raising healthy, educated, and fulfilled children is at the heart of building a strong future. It benefits all of society and is a collective responsibility. Societal support through policies—such as those that invest in the health, education, and safety of children—and community involvement through friendship, practical assistance, and emotional support are vital to the well-being of parents and caregivers and beneficial for children as well.”

2. Talk openly about the struggles that parents encounter.

3. Foster a culture of connection among parents to combat loneliness and isolation.

Being a parent to an 11-month-old and two older daughters while being my Mom’s Medical Power of Attorney (she’s in Memory Care because of Alzheimer’s disease) has been beautiful, messy, complicated, joyful, rewarding, and exhausting. I didn’t realize how burned out I was until I was invited to my cousin’s 40th birthday trip to Sedona, AZ. Eight women gathered together to love and support each other. Many times over the weekend, I thought, “I didn’t know how much I needed just to get away from the sometimes hamster wheel of parenting and just feed my soul.” It’s on all of us to reach out to friends, family, and neighbors and check on them and see how they’re doing.

To read the entire Advisory, click here.