Please note that this is an Archived article and may contain content that is out of date. The use of she/her/hers pronouns in some articles is not intended to be exclusionary. Eating disorders can affect people of all genders, ages, races, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body shapes, and weights.

By Quinn Nystrom, MS

When I think of the holidays, I often think of that idyllic Hallmark Christmas movie where everyone is blissfully happy, families are reunited, and all feel love. People gather in a perfectly decorated home where everyone gets along, celebrating with specialty holiday cocktails and champagne. But like most movies, that doesn’t imitate real life. Most of us have had our share of struggles, and we are sliding into the end of the year feeling tired and burned out. American culture heavily emphasizes this holiday season, and everything is overabundant.

I’m proud of the sobriety journey that I’ve been on and that this has become my top priority. I know that if I take a sip of alcohol or start letting my eating disorder play tricks with my head, it’s a rapid downward slope for me. When I was newly sober, I remember needing to write out plans before the festivities started. I knew that there was conflict within my family, tremendous grief, estrangements, and don’t forget the social pressures to be and look a certain way.

These were some of the guidelines I set for myself:

  1. I always drove to the event if I wasn’t hosting. This way, I could easily remove myself if something came up and I felt triggered.
  2. I told people about myself at the party. I made sure that people knew I was sober and in recovery from an eating disorder. I did this for accountability.
  3. Setting boundaries has been a game-changer for me. I don’t mind if people around me have a drink. Where it becomes difficult for me is if people are excessively drinking. If that’s the case, I remove myself. It’s a decision I make for my own well-being, and it’s empowering to know that I have the control to do so. If we’re hosting at our home, we don’t have alcohol, and guests know not to bring it into our home. Now, some people may think this is weird because how do you have a holiday celebration without alcohol? I’m a testament that sober celebrations are not just doable but more enjoyable. Everyone is present, you remember everything, rarely say something you later regret, and everyone is kept safe. It’s a joyous experience that I look forward to every year. If I’m attending a party, I always make sure that at least one person attending knows I’m sober, what my boundaries are, and what my exit plan is if things are getting difficult for me.
  4. Connect with my higher power daily. For me, this is a source of strength and guidance. It’s a reminder that I’m not alone in my journey and that there’s a power greater than myself that I can lean on for support. Attending support group meetings has been a crucial part of my journey. They provide the extra support and accountability that I need, especially during the holidays. Knowing that I have a group of people who understand and support me is incredibly reassuring and comforting. No matter how challenging the day was, I reflected on what I was grateful for in the evening.

I’ve had to make tough decisions these past couple of years to protect my sobriety. I’ve lost some crucial relationships because I knew I couldn’t recover if I allowed the chaos in. I’ve also gained so much. I’ve gotten married, had children, and begun creating new traditions. We have our own unique ways of celebrating holidays that don’t revolve around alcohol or obsessive talk about food and/or physical appearance. These new traditions bring us and remind us of the life we’re living together.