Please note that this is an Archived article and may contain content that is out of date. The use of she/her/hers pronouns in some articles is not intended to be exclusionary. Eating disorders can affect people of all genders, ages, races, religions, ethnicities, sexual orientations, body shapes, and weights.
By Quinn Nystrom, MS
Life is ever-changing and when it does, we need to adapt, evolve, and re-evaluate. Roll with the punches, so to speak. And as we pass the half-way point of this year, my guess is we’ve all had plenty of opportunities to “roll with the punches.”
When unforeseen events in our lives force us to adapt quickly, permanent changes are oftentimes part of the deal too. But these shifts in life are also super-handy in reminding us to step back and take stock of what we’ve done right instead of focusing on what is going wrong. That might be hard to remember in the face of a disappointment or failure, but three words can help us navigate these tough times; kiss it goodbye.
Instead of wallowing in the sting of a failed relationship or a business idea that flopped, kiss it goodbye and focus on the good that is yet to come. Don’t bring a failure from yesterday, into today. Life lessons can come in all shapes and forms, even things that don’t feel so great. If one dream dies, then get up, dust yourself off, and dream another. Kiss disappointment goodbye.
Things to Kiss Goodbye for a Better Future
The Past: As human beings, we can’t help but to relive and rehash all the things that didn’t go as planned in our lives. It’s easy to fall into that trap of being sour and even grumbling how our luck stinks, but locking ourselves into that bitter mindset doesn’t do anyone any good. Let the broken dreams, disappointments or loss go. Shed them like an oak tree sheds its leaves every fall. Let go of the shriveled so new life has room to sprout.
Negative memories from your past need to stay there; they don’t belong in your future. Shake it off, move forward, believe something better is coming.
Bad Behaviors: Kiss always having to be right or needing to dominate conversations, goodbye. Kiss the chip on your shoulder and any desire to hang on to old resentments goodbye. Don’t live the rest of 2019 (and beyond) living with regret, doubt, and being judge-y, goodbye. Kiss that stinkin’ thinkin’ goodbye. All of it.
The Loss of Your Sparkle: Kiss hello the memory of how fabulous you really are. We all have a light that shines brightly inside of us, but life and other people’s opinions can sometimes dull our shimmer. Like the fact that the sun is still present even on a cloudy day, our light is always there. Take a minute to list at least ten positive qualities that you possess–ten things that make you uniquely you.
Go ahead, I’ll wait.
Did you think of strengths and qualities that maybe you’ve forgotten about? If this exercise was a struggle, perhaps it’s time to kiss goodbye how you look at yourself and how you minimize how amazing you really are. If you catch yourself always looking through a lens of “not good enough”…kiss that bad behavior goodbye ASAP.
Pointless Patterns and Habits: What parts of your daily activities could be filed in the Kiss it Goodbye category? Have you fallen into the pattern of watching TV for hours or buying things you really don’t need because you crave instant gratification? Maybe it’s time to get reacquainted with an old hobby and remember what you’re passionate about. Skip reruns on the tube and indulge in a favorite hobby like gardening, sewing, reading, restoring old cars, or gliding along trails on your bike. Remember the activities that made your heart sing, what makes you happy, and do it often.
As you start to take action on shedding the self-talk and self-limiting beliefs, I promise that seeing the progress that you’re making will fuel your happiness fire even more. Getting into a newfound cycle of reinforced self-confidence is amazingly empowering, and that feeling will motivate you to keep going and keep Kissing Goodbye the thoughts and actions that no longer serve you.
All of that past thinking may have been part of your 2019, but they don’t need to be part of our 2020.