This is a rare and unusual story – a true story about a girl with whom I became close friends, and who I later observed and supported as she made significant life changes in treatment for her eating disorder at Center for Change. Except for our prior friendship, this unique experience together would not have been possible given the importance of proper boundaries in clinical settings.
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This is a rare and unusual story – a true story about a girl with whom I became close friends, and who I later observed and supported as she made significant life changes in treatment for her eating disorder at Center for Change. Except for our prior friendship, this unique experience together would not have been possible given the importance of proper boundaries in clinical settings.
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I was fighting a losing battle. My army reserves were depleted and I was contemplating surrendering and accepting failure. I was exhausted from the uphill struggle and I continually found myself in a dark room with no known exit or source of light. My ever-weakening body clung on to the last whisps of endurance that my weary soul tried hopelessly to generate from nothing.
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Seven months ago, I never would have guessed that leaving the Center for Change would be so difficult. All I could think about was the food on my plate, the weight I had to gain, and how miserable I was. I remember calling my parents about 3 weeks into my stay, crying about how I wanted to go home, and how I could recover without the help of anyone here.
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I came to Center for Change because I knew I needed help and treatment through inpatient care to overcome my bulimia. I realized that I couldn’t overcome it on my own, but was very skeptical about checking in. As I look back over the last 6 weeks, I remember all the mixed feelings, trials, experiences, and people that affected me while I’ve been here.
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It's been hell to go through. I know – I have been there. Everyone would say to me that I am hopeless and I am lost, confused and mislead. I have felt that way and so have each of you a thousand times over again. Now is the time to prove them wrong that you're not just some little girl who has an eating disorder who can't take care of herself. That's not how we are or we will be.
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Checking into Center for Change was the best decision I have ever made. My Eating Disorder had complete control over me. I wanted to want to get better, but there is no way I could have made the commitment to change without the help of the Center.
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My experience at the Center for Change has been the most valuable experience of my life; it’s almost indescribable. I came in with little expectation of recovery. I felt hopeless, scared, and incapable of ever getting my life back. But now I am leaving in less than a week and I feel confident I will have a full recovery. I won’t deny that I am nervous, but that’s okay. However, I am more excited to start living again. It’s difficult to imagine life without the monster.
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Wow, ladies- I can't believe that I'm actually writing one of these! From the moment I stepped through the doors of CFC, discharge seemed surreal; some days I honestly never thought I would make it here (although I was good at hiding my desperation). However, upon walking through those doors, there were a lot of other things I never dreamed possible: a love of myself and confidence in who I am, a fulfilling connection with my higher power, peace with food, a future without my eating disorder, but most of all- a voice of my own. I have lived my past 21 years for everyone else in my life; my friends and loved ones were the bases of my decisions, my beliefs, and my emotions. The only thing I solely possessed was my eating disorder, and it was tearing me apart.
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A great man once said, "That which doesn’t kill me only makes me stronger." If this statement has any validity, and I believe it does, then that means my eating disorder has been a strengthening agent in my life because it hasn’t terminated me yet. Yes, this paradox could easily be taken as a positive connotation to eating disorders so let’s make one thing clear: Eating disorders are born, raised, and sustained by negativity; it is the bitterness I experienced with my eating disorder that allows me now to appreciate and savor sweetness much more than I did before.
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