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Post by: Linds |
Posted: 08/28/08 02:10 am |
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I was discharged from CFC June 26. All was going well until a couple of weeks ago. I feel like I'm failing, and the further down I go, I know the harder it's going to be to climb back up. The thing is, my life before CFC was hell...11 years of hell. I can't go back to that, but I'm having a hard time doing the things I know I need to do in those moments. I'm questioning my commitment, my desire, everything.
How do I get back that desire and commitment I had? I'm completely at a loss (as is my therapist). |
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Reply by: sis |
Replied: 08/31/08 04:24 am |
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Dear Linds:
I am sorry to hear that you are having a tough time with recovery. I attended the CFC from April-July 2006 and have been very grateful for the great help that I received. I just celebrated two years of recovery. Some days were good and some were challenging during my first year. But one thing that I did in my first year was to read something from that big old binder that they give you every day and do something positive. It kept me showing up daily practicing recovery whether I wanted to or not.
I journal a lot and do art and these kind of reflective things keep me grounded to my true self and to those commitments and goals that will keep me well in the long run.
Lastly, when I run into a hard time I really think about why am I grasping for this sinking rock called ED that is serving only to deceive me and be a red herring to something greater,,, where is the real root that is triggering either some emotions or wrong behaviors and when I get to that I journal and develop ways to cope with life's stresses in healthy ways,,,, I also share with my therapist and family too. Stay open and share with your family and therapist.
But in the end you have got to do it for you and stick to it.
I will be praying for you.
Blessings,
Sis |
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Reply by: Teri |
Replied: 09/03/08 09:20 pm |
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Hi Linds,
Good job at recognizing that you are struggling and that you need to re-gain that committment. Recovery is tough, I have now been out of the Center for a little over a year and everyday is still a battle but each day you fight the battle you build a little more confidence in yourself and i promise the fight gets easier.
Keep relying on your support system. One thing that has helped me is everyday doing one thing that I really enjoy like throwing a football around with my husband or playing with my dogs. It reminds me of how much i enjoy life without ED and it helps me to take my mind out of the obsessive thoughts.
Keep fighting... I promise it does get easier but it is constant work!!!
I will be thinking about you!!! Teri
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