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Post by: Teri |
Posted: 06/16/08 12:31 pm |
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Hey Everyone!!!
I hope everyone is doing well!! I don't write very often but I always read what is posted and it is usually pretty helpful for me!! I have been in recovery just over a year now and have been loving it and doing great. Life without ED is amazing however my husband and I just moved back to California and I have had the hardest time with all the change. I have gone off all my meds because we are planning to start having kids soon and I am no longer in therapy.... it has been difficult. Everyday I am battling body image thoughts and ED thoughts and the hardest part is how it effects my husband. He tries very hard to understand but unless you have been through it, it does not always makes sense. I don't know what to say to him when I am struggling because it makes him so sad. Any advice or just words of encouragement would be great!!!
Thanks for reading this! I miss you all and hope the best for you!! Teri |
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Reply by: This is Me |
Replied: 06/17/08 03:31 am |
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Change can be hard and a huge trigger. It is also hard for our loved ones to watch us struggle, particularly after we have done well or just come out of treatment. I would assume your husband is scared. He has watched you at your sickest, and he is scared of losing you again. The best thing is to be honest. Reassure him that by reaching out for help you are showing a desire to do better. Also let him know in a kind way that when he gets sad it triggers you to have to hide your feeilngs and behaviors, which only "feeds" the eating disorder even more.
For you, it would help if you gave more details about your struggles. Are you lonely? Do you have family near? Start building a support base of friends in your new area, but in the meantime, use you old supports from where you used to live. Make regular phone calls just to keep in touch, not just when you are struggling. Go for walks in your new neighborhood. Invite some neighbors over for Sunday brunch. Find someplace to volunteer. It's hard to suggest things since I'm not exactly sure what the emotions are behind the feelings of bad body image, but those are a few ideas to start with.
Keep us updated. We want to know how things go. You can do this! You are more than a body! You are a wonderful amazing intelligent woman who is preparing herself to be a mother! Which is what your body was designed to do in the first place!!
Best of luck! |
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Reply by: Teri |
Replied: 06/17/08 10:21 am |
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Thanks, I appreciate your support. Change is hard, but to answer your question regarding my struggles... I think the stress of starting over again here and money is a huge trigger. Also my brother passed away a few months ago so it has been hard for me to get through it. I am doing well staying away from any behaviors but just having thoughts and constanlty fighting them is enough to bring me down. I am sure you are familiar with these feelings, but I start thinking I am not good enough or I must not be working hard enough, etc.
For the last year I have done great fighting negative thoughts but now they are back in full force!!!! Any hints or different ways to fight those thoughts???? I know we all learn a lot at the Center but sometimes it is nice to hear how others are fighting the battle!!
Thanks again for your reply!!! |
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Reply by: sis |
Replied: 06/18/08 12:55 am |
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Hi Teri:
My family moved this past winter and two things helped me were affirmations. You are what you think and you will become what you think. So, I have cards with affirmations, beautiful pictures, positive aspects of my life that motivate me to keep going forward.
Something else that has helped but it has been tough is developing my skills and what I mean by that is when I face challenges or stress I want to go back to that old log (poor coping methods such as control or ED behaviors) which may keep me afloat but it will take me in the wrong direction and I will sink at some point. So, I always think, "Ok, I am grabbing for my log again to keep me afloat,,,, what can I learn here, what skill can I build on or develop." I usually journal this through and learn some skills. ED has a way of freezing our coping skills in a way. When I moved this past fall I learned that I needed to build some resilliency skills. I also read some great books during this time too, journaled, shared with my family and support team. It worked out.
Be open and share with others especially when it is tough.
I am an alumnus of the Center for Change too.
Stay in touch and keep to it.
Blessings,
Sis
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Reply by: Caitlin |
Replied: 09/01/08 09:23 am |
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Change is very hard I definately understand that I was a military brat but keep being strong we all have ups and downs and changes in life and your husband may not understand what your mind is going through but llet him know when your down or have anxiety! Hang in there girl!!! |
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