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Post by: Keely |
Posted: 05/23/08 08:46 pm |
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Hey! I just wanted to seek some advice/support. I am enrolled in one class this semester to finish my pre-req's to get into the nursing program. (Planning to apply this fall and start nursing school the next.) I have withdrawn from school 3 times ( I can relate to Sheryl's post very much..) and have decided that I need to take these classes and succeed not only because I need them to apply for nursing school, but also because they have palpable control over me. I have the ability to complete them, but have made them out to be so tough and rigorous, that I've literally scared myself away from them. In the past, my eating disorder has always offered support during those stressful times. I have had to withdraw from school to preserve my recovery and all the work I have put into it. But this time, I want to prove to myself that I don't have to fall back on old habits due to new stressors. I am mentally and emotionally able to handle these classes and I am "good enough" and "smart enough". Does anyone have any suggestions or personal experience with this? I am open to any new ideas. :)
Thanks,
Keely |
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Reply by: sis |
Replied: 05/27/08 11:50 pm |
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Dear Keely:
Whne faced with a challenge that I am a little bit intimidated by I always examine the goal or commitment that I am making to something and try to think of what kind of skills will I need to complete this goal or project. I then list those skills that are needed and ask myself if I have them or if I am satisfied with what I have to reach a goal or project. One big thing that I have learned to keep in mind is not to be judgmental of my skills in a negative way but just be realistic in a fair way. Next, I also check what support I will need too from friends and family --- have someone to cheer you on. I always keep a some cards with affirmations to inspire me and keep me going. This is a journey so anticipate bumps along the way along with success -- keep it simple and stick to it. Don't be afraid of the unkown or of failure,,,,, that's part of the experience too.
Blessings
Sis |
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Reply by: bear |
Replied: 05/31/08 12:42 am |
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Hi Keely. I'm quite sure we never met as we were at the center at different times, but I've really enjoyed your shares over the past few months - especially the one about being in recovery for 3 years. Rockstar! Congrats!
I guess posting this after reading that makes me think - you're doing it, girl! You are already doing so much in your life, using the tools you have learned, it seems totally illogical that school should be so scary. And yet I totally understand where you are coming from. I went back to school to finish my undergrad after I left the center and it was a really painful time in my life. I didn't relapse or anything but it was a profoundly difficult environment to practice the tools I learned in the center and in the therapy and groups I attended after leaving. I plan to go to grad school in a few years and, to be honest, part of why I'm not there now is to try to give myself the time to learn skills I could take back into the academic world and use more effectively than I did when finishing my b.a.
One thing that struck me in you post was that you have had to leave school several times to support your recovery. When I first left treatment I was lucky to have an incredible therapist who made it very clear to me that while she was there to support me in my recovery from my eating disorder, she was also there to help me learn how to live a normal life. She told me about a client she once had who would get into recovery, start a job or go to school, relapse, and then get back into recovery. She had done this over and over again for years, since she was 13 or so. She had learned how to deal with e.d. - and that is a HUGE thing. But she hadn't learned how to deal with much else in her life.
I never wanted to become that person. That story really lingered with me. Letting go of e.d. doesn't mean we immediately know how to handle the stress of school or the stress of a job or the stress of a relationship, and it doesn't mean we immediately know how to handle the joys that come from those things either. (I for one have to be really aware of how I cope with joy and happiness, not because they are so hard to experience but because e.d. was there to get me through ALL my feelings, not just the negative ones). I guess all this is to say you are learning a lot about those life skills, you have learned a lot. Going back to school seems to me like a step in faith - trust your higher power, trust yourself, trust those who are there to support you. It is just another learning experience, another part of the journey, and if you stay committed to taking care of yourself you are going to learn a lot about who you are.
Good luck! and keep us posted...:) |
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