| |
|
|
 |
| |
Post by: joy |
Posted: 02/19/08 10:28 pm |
| |
Just sitting here reading posts and looking at my old watering ground on the unit i am missing being t here surrounded by all my friends and loving staff. In a way it is a security ,Like my anorexia there 24/7. Dont get me wrong i dont want that debth of illness but i long for it in certain ways. Does anyone know what i mean? Simplisity , structure, support. Anyhow, If any of the cfc 2001 checks in Hi and big hugs to you all. For those checking in from other times, Good luck in your recovery and know you are not alone. |
| |
Reply by: Kelsi |
Replied: 02/20/08 11:10 pm |
| |
i do know how you feel, i often find myself in that exact same spot, and i wish i had an answer for you but i don't, and it sucks and it's hard and i wish there was something i could do to help, for what it's worth i believe in you!!! Something that always helps me is "being happy with who you are, makes you beautiful" |
| |
Reply by: Keely |
Replied: 02/25/08 08:37 pm |
| |
Social support can make or break my recovery. I have certain parts of my eating disorder that I long for as well- the structure, simplicity, and support of having something to occupy my mind so I wouldn't have to think about anything. What really helps me (and grows slowly but steadily) is building support outside treatment centers. I proved to myself that I didn't have to keep getting sick to have people know that I existed or get the love I needed. I have a network of people - friends from CFC, school, work, my therapist, activites I like (yoga, rock climbing, pottery) and I create a structure of activites, time for talking, groups, hanging with friends, etc. It keeps me on the right path.
The thing I miss most from CFC was curling up on the couches together and talking or just having someone to sit next to. Loneliness is my worst enemy. The big challenge for me continues to be to surround myself with people and take a proactive role in getting those needs met. (hug)
Keely |
| |
Reply by: This is Me |
Replied: 02/26/08 12:51 am |
| |
Isn't it strange how a place that prompts so many painful memories to be exposed, so many tears to be shed, so much emotion to be felt; where one has never felt so vulnerable, shared so much, or dug so deep, can also elicit feelings of power, strength and security? The place where the hardest work of your life was done is also the place where you finally had a soft spot to land, so to speak. It got you out of your comfort zone like no place else, and yet no place has ever felt so comfortable. (Wow, that's pretty good! I ought to write a commercial!!)
I guess I'm trying to say I understand. But yet, like Keely, I have found ways to re-create the atmosphere of the Center wherever I am, and actually better because it's MINE--it's not an atmosphere created in the mind of someone else--it is MINE and I can customize it to just how I like it! And, better still!, I can discard the stuff I DON'T like. That wasn't an option at the Center. It was always someone else's rules, someone else's idea of what I needed. Now I am in charge and I get to make my day, my life, my surroundings just how I want them.
To a certain extent.
However, I do miss having someone else do the cooking (not because of ED but because of time. And minor anxiety). And clean. And put clean sheets on my bed twice a week. And being able to cry WHEN I WANTED TO. Sigh.
Oh well. Life is better now. Definitely better. |
| |
Reply by: kodslice |
Replied: 02/28/08 04:21 pm |
| |
That is hard, and it is exactly how I feel all the time! I Miss The Center So much! It is hard and I just get so depressed sometimes from missing the center and my friends there and certain things in ed, even though I would never want to go back to it. and it is very confusing! I don't know who this is, but keep fighting strong! There is so much joy to life even though it may not feel like it sometimes. Life can get lonely and sad, but there are always people out there who love you and are thinking about you. Be grateful that you had the experience at cfc, and got the knowledge and friendships there, but keep going forward in life and be happy with yourself! I always have to keep reminding myself of that too. |
|
Message Board Rules
|
|
|
